


Santa Tell Me (what the fuck were you doing up on my roof?)

by kaientai



Series: christmas is merrier with you [2]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-21 22:25:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13153287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaientai/pseuds/kaientai
Summary: Snowflakes aren't the only things falling from the sky tonight.





	Santa Tell Me (what the fuck were you doing up on my roof?)

Evening rolls by with a chill. You're gazing at the snow-clad city of Edo out on the balcony of your apartment, keeping yourself warm with a self-knitted scarf and a mug of cheap coffee. Christmas lights from the distance are winking at you with enticement, beckoning you to come down and be immersed with the Christmas cheer that's flooding the city. 

You lean on the banister, the cold metal making contact with your bare skin. The sigh you breathe out materializes in front of you in a small cloud of vapor, and you find yourself grinning stupidly at the sight. Snow precipitates from the heavens and you lean out a little bit more to catch the flakes on your tongue. You've always adored snow days, Christmas even more so. Yet, you do wish that you'd get to spend your holidays with someone near and dear to your heart. 

As you watch the snow fall, your mind meanders to that peculiar lot from Kabuki-cho. Are they up to their usual antics? Is Gintoki still indulging himself in a glass of whatever alcohol he manages to weasel himself into? Are the Shimuras celebrating their Christmas, doors closed, in their father's yet-to-be-revived dojo? Is Kagura wandering the streets in search of a sponsor for her sukonbu appetite, as a dog-god tails her every step? You chuckle. No matter how unconventional their way of life is, you find yourself yearning to become part of it. 

Just when you're about to call it a night, you hear something slam on the roof of your balcony. Eyebrows raised, you decide not to bat an eyelash. It could just be that middle-aged man living on the floor above you, trying to fix his Christmas lights. But then a few more peculiar sounds follow. A rustle. A slip. A scream. When you whip your head back a red blur falls from the sky and you hurry back to the balcony in a flash. When you gaze at the empty streets below, there's a man in a Santa costume, sprawled on the pavement. You're about to rush downstairs to help whoever was stupid enough to traverse the slippery roof, but when your eyes catch wind of the longest hair you've seen on a man, you have half a mind to just pretend like you never saw anything in the first place.

At first, that's the course of action you take—ignoring the potential corpse littering the street of your neighborhood. But half an hour later, you check up on him once more, and Katsura is still _there_ , blanketed by a thin layer of snow. Mumbling to yourself, you fish for your keys in a drawer and shrug on a jacket. Curse your exemplary conscience. 

When you push through the doors of the lobby, you rush to the fallen man's side. Dusting off the flurry of snow from his clothes proves to be somewhat a troublesome deal, since you forgot to put on some mittens. But since you already established this Good Samaritan act, might as well take it all the way. When he doesn't move even a centimeter, it concerns you at the slightest. You reach for his neck to get a feel of his pulse (or lack thereof). But, the moment your fingers come into contact with the skin of his neck, your positions become reversed, and suddenly a sword is pointed threateningly at your face.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Zura?" you hiss.

Katsura retracts his sword and slings it over his shoulder. "It's not Zura, it's Santa!"

"Hah?" you get up on your feet to glower at him. "What, are you giving gifts to the nice children and stuffing coal in the socks of the naughty ones? What were you even doing on my goddamn roof?"

"The lack of a chimney was quite troublesome, so I had to resort to drastic measures!"

"So you're trying to be a rip-off Santa, then?"

Katsura shakes his head. "I am a special Santa, you see! Some people would even refer to me as Satan!"

"...And you're proud of that?"

Ignoring your comment, Katsura sheathes his katana and digs through the burlap sack that you just noticed he was lugging around. He unceremoniously shoves a crudely wrapped present in your face. "This Santa gives presents to all, not just the nice children!"

You blink, but accept his gift, regardless. When you take a closer look, it's like there's more tape on the present than wrapping paper. "Uh, thanks?" 

He throws the sack over his shoulder and does a hand sign akin to the one Gary Oak uses. "Smell ya later!"

Just as quickly as he arrived, Katsura seemingly melted into the shadows of the evening street. You glance down at the gift in your fingers. It's a trivial feeling that you'd rather dismiss, but you're quite glad to know that even someone like Katsura is able to remember you during the holidays. With careful hands, you unwrap the present, only to see that it's—

"A Justaway?" 

The explosion comes before you can even think. Soot explodes in the surrounding area, overlaying the snow. You simply stay rooted to the spot, ash covering every inch of your body. When a piece of paper wafts through the smoke, you manage to catch it.

**_Merry Christmas! You've been naughty!_ **

"ZURAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"


End file.
